Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
