at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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