I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
