i was born a porn star she said
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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