Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
