I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
