I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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