i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
