Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
