yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
