Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
