We're facebook friends in real life
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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