I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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