Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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