Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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