do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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