I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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