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So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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