I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
