Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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