We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
