Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize