Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
