there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize