ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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