a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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