What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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