Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
