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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's almost as awesome as vicodin.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.

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• (310): View more from California

  He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step

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