Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
