Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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