I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
