we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
