I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
