Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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