i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
