is your mom at the bar?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
