He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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