Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
do nipples grow back?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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