drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
