She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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