you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
