To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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