remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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