That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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