I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize