yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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