i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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