Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Pants are for mortals
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize