just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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