Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
