ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
