He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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