I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
