I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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