Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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