So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
