No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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