I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
