Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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